I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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