i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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