My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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