So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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