I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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