You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
