Don't you send me to vm
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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