Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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