I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
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The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
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Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN