You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs