I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.