Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.