Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"