Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.

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  (613): somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex. http://tfl.nu/eqpv
  Replies (16) Good night (4174) Bad night (637)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

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  (202): i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society http://tfl.nu/5vfp
  Replies (55) Good night (998) Bad night (4042)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight

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  (740): Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook. (740): Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight http://tfl.nu/qdoi
  Replies (23) Good night (811) Bad night (2946)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.

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  (610): i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops. http://tfl.nu/1s76
  Replies (59) Good night (3661) Bad night (1100)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  class

  (574): View more from Indiana

  he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson

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  (574): some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous (1-574): class (574): he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson http://tfl.nu/2w68
  Replies (46) Good night (4952) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?

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  (312): Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/uk9c
  Replies (33) Good night (3363) Bad night (3680)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

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  (651): okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. http://tfl.nu/937u
  Replies (9) Good night (5307) Bad night (1056)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.

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  (504): Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone. http://tfl.nu/v2z6
  Replies (14) Good night (3038) Bad night (1040)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.

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  (801): Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess. http://tfl.nu/8hwd
  Replies (8) Good night (4205) Bad night (1020)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.

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  (202): She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums. http://tfl.nu/4fck
  Replies (17) Good night (2489) Bad night (747)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.

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  (814): I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/fkn8
  Replies (10) Good night (1185) Bad night (517)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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  (605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam
  Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.

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  (202): It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks. (202): I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to. http://tfl.nu/wpl5
  Replies (10) Good night (1512) Bad night (662)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.

  (206): View more from Washington

  WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN

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  (702): All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze. (206): WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN http://tfl.nu/b6xg
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (300)
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  (909): View more from California

  I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

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  (909): I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day. http://tfl.nu/6mst
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (237)

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