i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.