Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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