I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
