I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize