I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Actions speak louder than pants.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
