My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize