are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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