More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize