Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize