I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
