Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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