I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
