guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
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i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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