Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
