Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
