I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
