I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
