Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
