I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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