So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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