idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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