I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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