I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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