I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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