Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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