That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Duck Duck Cougar?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize