So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
