is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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