Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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