she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
