Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
