I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i may or may not be watching the land before time
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
