he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
