YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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