I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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