You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
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