I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
