Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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