I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
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Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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