i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
