I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Randomize
