i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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