i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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