shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
