So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
