you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize