hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
When are your genitals available?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
