If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
