why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize