The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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