By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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